Hello neighbours

Suffice to say that it has been longer than anticipated since you have seen a post from me, or a podcast episode from Gordon and I. For this I am sorry. Let me explain.

I typically finish work on the weekend post a few days prior to go live and then let it simmer for a bit. This did not happen. I was in my bedroom, feeling ill, and finding breath hard to get as I have felt for the last two months. Despite doctor calls and such, I was not improving. I had my daughter call the ambulance who took me to Southlake Health Center where they started doing the usual stuff for lifetime asthmatics, but then I just went over. I am alive because I was there. My lungs had no more energy to work and I spent the next five days unconscious and on a ventilator while the professionals did their tests and discovered pneumonia that had been present for some time. So while I was out, they medicated me and when I awoke it was to have the tubes removed from my throat and to begin again breathing on my own.

Lots of folks get sick. I am no one special, but after I was moved from ICU to a monitoring floor, I was placed in a room with another fellow whom we will call Ken.

I did not know that I was going to be on a ventilator and when I awoke while intubated and muscles paralyzed, I freaked out. Once in the shared room, my roommate said he was not being rude but was in a lot of pain and needed rest. I was and remain fully in support of rest, it’s something I need to learn to do myself.

Over the next day, we learned each other’s names and I learned about Ken’s challenge. I immediately felt like a complete jerk. Ken and I are of similar vintage and he had been a paraplegic for about 40 years. He did not hold my whinging about being paralyzed by drugs against me, instead he helped me process those fears and as we talked and made the effort to support each other, I could not help but see Ken as an exemplar for what many creatives struggle with.

Ken lost a lot after the accident that paralyzed him, but he also gained a lot. He bacame a competitive weight lifter and a competitive curler. Despite it being easy for him to go dark, he reminded and still reminds me that attitude is everything.

In Ken’s case, gear no longer mattered. His ability to use tools remains very limited. He stopped caring about gear and equipment a long time ago and discovered in short order that this decision did not hurt him at all. He asserts it helps because it got him past the mental barrier that equipment matters. For us as creatives, we easily fixate on gear thinking it will make us better. It never has and it never will. The newest camera, lens or doodad or the oldest most vintage will not make us more creative or improve our artistic delivery. Spend your hard earned money on kit if you wish, but ask what the new kit will allow you to do specifically that your current kit will not. Reality and objectivity will show that the answer is nothing. Sellers and manufacturers are not on your side, they are on their own side, which involves getting you to spend your money with them. A vendor can be friendly, but is not your friend.

As Ken and I talked about the things that we did that were not work related, we discovered that most of what we did for fun now, we had learned from zero. Skill had been built over time and as I have written before, proper practice is the mother of skill. Gear does not make skill. Proper repeated practice makes skill. Whether that is driving, racing, curling, photography, video, music no one gets better without proper practice and no skills are native or inherent. We may have aptitude for certain skills development over others, but nothing worth having comes without an effort. There’s no point working on skills that you don’t care about until you care about them. That’s a waste of time. Build the skills when you are ready to build them and then practice them properly to maintain them. My personal and simple example is walking. After being basically out of things for five days, I had to learn to walk unaided again. I had to learn to handle stairs. For those who have never been in this place, this sounds crazy. Ask me this a month ago and I would have agreed. Ask me today and my answer is completely different. Skills can be learned, but must be maintained by proper practice, otherwise it will be like starting over. All the same, it’s doable.

The most critical element cannot be taught. It cannot be bought. It cannot be rented or leased. It cannot be borrowed. You either have the right one, or you don’t..

When I was told that I would need to learn basic muscle control again and had it proven when I could not raise a spoon to my own mouth, the only thing that made a difference is attitude. Just as I watched Ken take control over his life each day through positive attitude, I had to do the same thing. No whining, no woe is me and never ever the phrase, I can’t. For an artist, no matter what you decide, you are correct. If you decide that you will try, that’s what you get. If you decide that you cannot, you are right. If you just do, then you do. Try is the enemy of do. Your do may be far from satisfying to you right now, but it’s a darn sight better than any try and always will be. When I was first presented with stairs, I was scared. I could fail. I could fall. I could not have the strength. Or I could do the stairs until I could not do the stairs anymore. I did the stairs. It was tough. When the therapist said she was happy with the progress and it was time to stop, I did them again. Now that I am recovering at home where there are plenty of stairs, I am doing the stairs regularly. I do. I don’t try or make an effort, I just do. I’ve come close to a bad wobble. I’ve gotten to the top where one more step would be a really positive surprise, but my alternative is a cannot do attitude, and that will stop me both in healing and as a creative.

I am no one special. I don’t need nor want a participation trophy. I am a creative and I am being creative again after letting it slide for too long. Perhaps learn from me that it’s ok to take a break, with the recognition that skills need proper practice, that gear doesn’t matter and that the only thing that can stop you is your own attitude..

Thanks for reading. Please consider subscribing to the articles and the podcast to be informed when new content is released. Until next time, peace.