When Photographers Seek Darwin Awards

Soon to discover the impact of 2000 pounds of bison

I expect that everyone knows what a Darwin Award is. From Wikipedia; “They recognize individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by selecting themselves out of the gene pool by dying or becoming sterilized by their own actions”

Or to simplify, someone who acts in a manner so stupid as to bring about death or permanent injury to themselves.

I’m all in favour of decreasing the surplus population of stupids. In the words of TV personality and convicted felon Martha Stewart “it’s a good thing.”

Over the last year, I have seen more accounts than ever of would be photographers and picture takers placing their lives on the line to grab a snap of wildlife with disastrous results. And by disastrous, I mean to the gene pool of the alleged photographer. Not a bad thing for the rest of our species.

Consider the moron who sees a mother bear and her cubs and decides to approach to make a shot of the cubs, inserting itself between the mother and the children. Bears have large claws, big teeth and whether normally cautious of humans (black bears) or see humans as a decent snack (polar bears) Get between a mother bear and her cubs and you are lucky if you do not find your innards spread over several square yards. There were three independent stories of this happening in the past week alone. Go Bears!

Moose are large herbivores often weighing over 1,000 pounds. They also have potentially massive antlers ending in heavy blunt edges or sharp spines, yet numbskulls will often approach within feet of an animal that can crush you with a single stomp in order to get a picture. I have personally seen the criminally stupid carry their children close enough so the little child can reach out and touch the moose. Then the survivors demand that the moose be killed because it stomped or speared the idiot that got too close.

In the past year, there have been numerous instances where bison have charged, struck and gored idiots getting too close in order to take a picture, typically, but not exclusively with a smartphone. If a bison tramples or gores a moron, it means the bison may get blood and guts on itself. Humanity ends up with one less moron that can propagate its defective gene pool.

Even the ever annoying shit distributing Canada Goose is dangerous. They can be aggressive and will peck viciously. I recall a news story where a parent let their naked little boy chase geese in a park. The little boy lost a part of his anatomy to an aggressive goose when it pecked his pecker. Sadly the parent was not prevented from further breeding.

It’s not just wild life that takes out the criminally stupid. Every year, dumbasses seeking a picture of looking over the edge of a cliff, prove up close and personal that gravity works and that terminal acceleration in a fall results in a sudden stop. Followed by splatter.

Relatives of these falling objects also get very close to geysers and hot springs, or running lava so they can get the “mood” of what is happening. I wonder what the mood is like as they burn to death?

I have seen picture takers hanging over the edge of overpasses to get the perfect shot of vehicles passing by underneath. What happens to the poor individual who has to deal with said moron as their body passes through the windshield of their vehicle. Or the motorist who finds a fool in the middle of the road with camera on tripod to get the “perfect night shot of light trails”? Yes I have seen this in real life.

As a motorcyclist, I wish I had a bat when I see the passenger in a car, or a passenger on another motorcycle hanging out into the roadway to get a picture of another vehicle. The other motorists have no interest in the trauma that will come from running over said idiot when it falls or gets knocked into traffic.

Wrapping Up

I suppose that I could go on, but the stupid probably cannot read and stupid cannot be fixed, although it breeds readily. Such idiots should strive to be Darwin Award winners to assist in the reduction of their population density, just don’t do it where I can get covered in your insides.

Alternatively, consider that no picture is worth your life and don’t be a Darwin Award contestant.

Please become a member on Patreon to help support this channel. A big thanks to all the existing Patreon members! Send in comments or questions, I read and respond to all. If you shop with B&H Photo Video, please use the link on the main page as it pays me a small commission and does not cost you anything to do so. Thanks again and we will see each other again soon.